Time management and studying

 I've been struggling with this a lot since beginning H800 back in February. The last time I did Master's level study I didn't have kids or any other pressing calls on my time, other than my work schedule, which was quite regular.

 Now, I have two young daughters, a husband, a house that needs perpetual work doing on it, 4 part-time jobs that all have to be juggled and re-arranged and planned for, and a course of study that easily takes 20-25 hours a week of my time as well.

 I've just spent over a week completely knocked out with a migraine that wouldn't go away - the worst I've had since I was a teenager - and it's forced me to confront the problems I'm facing head-on.
So far, for the last few months I've been adding things to my schedule but not really adjusting anything else, and just trying to get it all done in the time I have. I also struggle with being a perfectionist, so everything that I do needs to be done well.

 In practice, this means that my house needs to be within reasonable parameters of clean and tidy (an almost never-ending task with 2 kids in the house!), I need to spend a good portion of time preparing and planning my lessons and sessions, my proofreading work always gets an extra double-check, I cook relatively healthy meals from scratch most days of the week, I try to take the kids out to the park or for a walk most days the weather is good, and get them to swimming lessons and playdates and so on. Add to this the pressure of doing a course that's very expensive, that I hope will improve my career prospects after the hit it took staying home with the kids for a few years, and that I really want to succeed at. No wonder I had a head-ache!

 During my bed-ridden phase, I totted up the hours I was working at all the various things that I do, taking into account the 'invisible' work that is still largely borne by the women in society. Turns out I had regularly been working 80-100 hours a week for a couple of months. So, I had a sit-down with my husband, explaining that things couldn't go on as they were, and that he would have to take on some of the housework/childcare in order for me to be able to function. (You would think that would be obvious, but to the male of the species apparently not!).

 So, right now, I'm doing my damnedest to come up with a list of priorities, in order, and to try to decide how much time, effort and brain-power to spend on each. It's not terribly easy, because everything seems intertwined and frequently contradictory. Obviously my first priority is the health and happiness of my family. Part of that depends on us having time to spend together, and time to rest and relax, but it also depends on the adults having jobs and good job prospects. The MAODE course is obviously important to me, from a personal fulfilment point of view, and for hopefully increasing my employability in the future. It represents a considerable financial investment that I can't afford to waste. However, in order to be able to concentrate on my studies and give it my best effort I need to put my younger daughter (3) in nursery so I can have some uninterrupted time to think! But in order to pay for nursery hours I have to work two mornings a week as an EAL tutor, taking away from the overall time I could be studying... It feels like a never-ending cycle of pressure and contradictions - doesn't help that I'm a naturally anxious person, and tend to spin out of proportion at times!

 I'm finding myself frustrated, because I'd really like to be spending more time studying and reading. I used to find the process of studying pleasant and generally reassuring. Now, however, I'm struggling to do the required activities every week, and rarely if ever get the time to do any of the optional activities. From comments that everyone else posts I get the impression that they're all doing so much more reading and background research than I can manage, and that makes me feel inadequate. I guess that everyone else feels the same way too though!

 Well, enough introspection for now! My migraine has finally eased (touch wood!) although the resultant brain-fog is still with me, and my typing skills are all out of whack. I'm trying to scramble my way to catch up with lost time - as you can tell from the fact that I'm posting a blog post as a response to a Week 10 activity in the middle of Week 11! Comments welcome, even if it's just to commiserate! Do let me know how the rest of you are managing the work/life/study balance!